"Tips & Hints".......My thoughts on "PASSING"

As I got out into the public eye more, for shopping, restaurants, movies etc., I began to think of it all as more like I was being "Accepted" rather than I was "Passing". In all my outings, I have no way of knowing exactly what people are thinking, the clerks in stores or waitresses in restaurants. Because I have always been treated very well, simply believing that I am being accepted, rather than am passing, lets me drop the need to "pass" and simply focus on being myself :-)

There have been times when I know people were wondering what they saw. Last December, 2001, wearing my red mini skirt, boots, and a jacket over my T-shirt, I was shopping in Polo Park, had bought a pair of shoes from Payless and was walking through the mall having a good time being a girl. As I passed "The Gap", two girls standing at the doorway were looking my way, and as I got near, heard one of them say "Is that a guy?" Out of the corner of my eye, the other turned, looked my way and said "I can't tell"!! If I had heard that during my first visit to the mall, I would have ran out of there so fast and never would have done it again. But this time, I just kept smiling and kept walking. Besides, It was evident they "Couldn't tell for sure" *S*

Now I'll share with you some help my girlfriend gave me about passing, way before I told her about me. It was the spring of 2001, when she was talking with friends of ours about crossdressers she had seen at Club 200 several years ago when she had been there with some gay friends of hers. She commented to them "Do you know how to tell if a person is a crossdresser?", waited a moment, then added "Everything is perfect, not a hair out of place, nails are perfect, and makeup is done to perfection!! You can imagine how I waned to be anywhere but that room, yet was all ears. And you know what, she is right!! I worried too much about my makeup, hair and nails, clothing etc., wanting everything perfect! In reality, most GG's aren't. Since then, I always remember those comments and to be honest, it is a whole lot less stressful getting pretty, knowing I don't have to be perfect!! (Yes, breaking a nail is still devastating<pout>)

Do I get read?? I'm sure I do. However, since I don't notice "reactions" from others, it is hard to know exactly when it is happening. On June 5, 2003, I found out that I had been read, way back on January 23, 2003, yet at the time, I had no idea that I had been! To read about that time delay, click here..Finding out about being read!

I hope you have found this information helpful, and most important of all, I truly hope you find comfort in simply being yourself:-)

Sabrina

E-mail me at sabrina_markes@masquerade.ca

Member of the Winnipeg support group - "Masquerade"

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